Archive for August, 2010

August 31, 2010

Thank you for your stories!

I have shared this blog with about 30 or so people.  Many of you have emailed me or messaged me with your own story.  I deeply appreciate your trust!  Please know I will never betray you, I know how hard it is to trust, since you were betrayed in the worst possible way!

Sending my love, Veronica

August 31, 2010

The second time I told

Just several weeks before my Mom died I told her what Dad had done.  They had just gotten divorced so I thought it would be OK… I was so wrong!!

That night she drank more than I had ever seen her drink.  And sometime shortly after midnight she woke my sister and I out of bed.  She demanded to know why I had seduced my Dad and if Kissy had done the same thing.  She then said we should die and went and got her pistol.  I ran with Kissy into a bedroom and baracaded the door.  I hid Kissy and I in the closet for hours and Mom yelled and screamed from outside the window and door. Finally she passed out.  When she woke I was gone… Kissy would not leave with me.

I stayed with Angie at her Dad’s (Ray) for a couple of weeks before Mom called crying and apologizing.  She begged me to come and stay with her.  She said she and I would talk and everything would be OK.  She told me she loved me and promised to not to drink.

She kept that promise for almost a week… and then she died!

Her blood alcohol level was enough to kill her by itself.  She died in a one car accident near Trinity, TX

August 29, 2010

My relationship with my Dad

Some days I hate him.  Others I love and miss him dearly.

Over the past 10 or so years, at his mother’s (my Nanny) insistence, our relationship improved.  Slowly but over the past year after his cancer came back I thought it was pretty good.  He would talk to me about his options, ask for my opinion, etc…

I now realize I was just a pawn so that he could gain attention from my Step-mother, Elly.  After putting the pieces together that was what he used me for, especially over the past year!

August 29, 2010

The shame game

I am in awe of the amount of shame I have felt since starting this blog.  Why do the victims feel shame?

1) I never said NO!

2) I never screamed or yelled or kicked or fought!

3) I could not protect my sister or my step sister from the same fate!

4) I was powerless, and there is shame in having no power!

With this blog I will regain my power and shed my shame.

You can too!

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August 29, 2010

The first time I told

I was in the 8th grade, attending Willis Junior High, and I told my English teacher.  For the life of me I cannot remember her name but I remember her saying that “sometimes dads do that”.  And then she asked me if I had told my Mom.  I told her no because I was afraid my Mom would be mad.  Later I found out… I was right!

Now I know that teacher broke the law.  She had an obligation to report what I had told her to the authorities.  Sadly, she chose not to report it.  And even more sad is now, looking back, she must have been molested as well.  Why else would she say “sometimes dads do that”?

August 28, 2010

Here is a great website for a victim of a child molestor!

http://www.nomorevictim.com/index.shtml

August 28, 2010

The Statisitcs

 

Some say the numbers are stagering.  They believe 80% of all child abusers are the father, foster father, stepfather or another relative or close family friend of the victim. And although the science behind these numbers might be fuzzy a Canadian Medical Journal says 1 in 3 girls are molested and 1 in 6 boys!

August 28, 2010

So did I ever tell???? Would you?

I did, three times!  I will share those times with you over the next couple of days.  This is a difficult journey so please be patient with me.  I will post at least once a week, but I will try to post more often.

If you never told, you can tell now, here, anonymously if you wish!

August 28, 2010

Daddy’s Little Girl

It is so strange, maybe I want to believe it or maybe it is true, but I swear I was daddy’s little girl.  I have very few memories before the molesting started but I can remember Dad taking me swimming, hunting, fishing and letting my help him work on cars.  I almost remember trusting him.  Did I trust him?  Until that first night, absolutely!

August 27, 2010

I was born

to Ron and Linda Hard in October of 1968.  Had I known what kind of childhood was ahead of me at the time of my birth I might have just given up right then.  I ask myself now, did my Dad ever just see me as his little girl?  Did he ever really love me as his child and not as an object of his desires?  I also ask myself what his motivation were behind having children.  Did he only want them to have something he could take advantage of?

Does an abusive parent know the moment a child is born that they will abuse that child?

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