The dream

I am sure it is connected to my blog…

Last night I dreamed he came into my room.  It was so real.  I felt awake.  He touched me and I felt it.  I screamed for my Mom.  But I was an adult, who I am now.

I fought him and he laughed.  And then he disappeared.

I woke up at 3am this morning, I could feel my dad’s presence in the room.  I could still feel the fight in me, adrenaline was flowing through me.  I had to convince myself to go back to sleep, that I was OK.  The incredible news is that it worked and I got a couple more hours of sleep.

Does this mean I am winning this fight?  Does it mean I am finally fighting back?  Does it count?

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2 Comments to “The dream”

  1. Wow, that is a HORRIBLE dream(more like nightmare)! I’m sorry you had to deal w/that. I hope that you don’t have any more of those types of nightmares(or any other nightmares).
    I’m so glad you were able to convince yourself to go back to sleep, that is awesome! I do think it is a sign that you are winning this fight and that you are finally fighting back. And YES, I do believe that it does count!

  2. I think a basic survival instinct is to take the horrible painful memories and push them away from us as far as possible, because deep down inside we they have ability to destroy who we are. I think your dream was the part of you that still holds on to that belief was trying to scare the rest of you away from the pain you have decided to face. The simple fact that you are still writing is proof that it failed and that you are winning the war.

    After reading this and pondering whether or not I should send this, I think you should keep fighting, because pushing the pain away doesn’t preserve who we are in anyway whatsoever. It just keeps from being who we were meant to be

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