Not what I needed

As I got to know Mike I thought to myself “He seems so normal.” Really that is what I thought.  His parents were still married TO EACH OTHER!  He had a good relationship with his siblings.  He had a job, was actually a business owner.  He was stable.  No kids, no previous marriages, and was really a nice guy.

Not what I needed to feel normal!

The first several months we dated I figured he would figure out I was certainly not what he needed and would walk away.  What on earth would keep him?  I was a single, divorced Mom that was crazy!  And as soon as he figured out… well, I assumed he would run as fast as he could in the other direction.  Which is what I needed to feel normal.

As uncomfortable as it was for me, new territory so to speak, I liked Mike a lot and I especially loved the fact that he was so different from everyone I had ever met.  Stable.

Not what I needed to feel normal!

I fell in love, not with Mike, but with what he represented.  What I thought I could be with him.  What my life would be with him.  And so importantly what my son’s life could be like with him in it. We eventually moved in together.  But it was certainly not a fairy tale.

The bad news for Mike was, he could not fix me or my life.  I could not just instantly be OK just because he was in my life.  And I grew to resent him for it.

Then all hell broke loose!

We attract into our lives that which makes us feel normal, no matter how awful normal is.  And when they are not cooperating we create it!

So why was Mike attracted to me?  Sometimes we attract what we need in our lives to find a means to an end. A catalysis to break away from the ties that bind us.

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2 Responses to “Not what I needed”

  1. More please. Can’t wait to read more.

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