Thanksgiving Interruption…

Today is my first Thanksgiving without my Dad or my Nanny.  I am not sure how to feel about it.

Finding out how much your Dad disliked you after he dies was interesting.  I found that out recently.  It was enough to break me, but I am solid and I will be just fine.  Oddly enough I hated what he did but did not hate him.  I still don’t.  Sometimes I wish I could.  I think he might have hated me.  He never really let on to his hatred for me.  But he needed me so he had to hide it.  He needed me, without me he could have not received the attention he wanted from my step mother, nor could he have had a relationship with my son.

Today, I hate what he did, but I will never hate him.  If I do it will only take away from me and I will never let him have that pleasure, not even in death!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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