Feel sorry for me

So after months of Mike and I living together I came home from a visit from my Dads.  I was in tears and Mike could not understand.  You see, after visiting my Dad I would always be depressed.  He would say the meanest things, almost always about my weight.  “Gained a little weight there Veronica, better be careful or you will run off that new guy just like all the others,”  my Dad would say.  Or “Where did you get that shirt?” and then add, “It makes you look fat, you should probably not where that.”  Sometimes not directed towards my weight but me, “How long will this one last?  Long enough for me to meet him?”

You might be asking yourself, “Why would even go over there?”  Well, he was my Dad.  And most children want a relationship with their parent no matter how hurtful it is.  And I always thought maybe this time it will be different.  Or maybe it made me feel normal.  It was, after all, normal for me.

So when Mike asked me what was wrong…. I spilled!  Everything, my childhood, my adulthood… everything.  And he did feel sorry for me.

It was exactly what I wanted and I hated him for it!

Soon I began to pick fights with Mike.  I would create a hell of a scene any chance I got.  I tried so hard to prove to him how much he should prove me right and run me off or leave.  But he didn’t (I will cover why later).

To add to the insanity of it all, I quit taking my meds…. cold turkey!  I was a mess.

So how did I decide to fix the mess we were in!  Time to move.  A new house meant a new beginning… or so I wanted to believe!


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