Posts tagged ‘Sleep disorder’

November 8, 2011

Sleep… it is magical!

Sleep lets the brain rest.  We are inundated with information all day long.  Our brain needs a chance to recover.  This recovery period varies depending on the human.  Personally I need at least eight hours of sleep in order to function properly.

Lack of sleep affects different people in a variety of ways.  Some people just get grouchy, while others are simply sleepy.  Some become disoriented, confused, and can no longer function.  But for those that have a tendency, genetic makeup, or history of mania – lack of sleep does the opposite of what it does to most people: gives them energy, makes them feel euphoric, and as this begins a chain reaction also begins.

Every night of little or no sleep leads to more, eventually leading to mania.  As I have mentioned before, mania is awesome!  However, the other side of mania is death seeking depression.

Somewhere I will, personally, never go again.

I am sleeping again.  Over the weekend I took catnaps to help break the cycle.  I went to bed early, and although I laid in bed for several hours unable to sleep, I spent those hours relaxing, meditating, and embracing sleep.  The busier the mind, the longer it take to quiet it.

It is work, do not get me wrong, but work that is worth the effort!

Understanding the cues the body gives, such as jaw clenching, is imperative.  But there is no better indication that there is work to be done than not sleeping.

Over the last several days I have resolved issues that I was having with different people.  I held no punches, I just said here is where I am at… now tell me where you are at and lets see if we can find common ground.  Addressing an issue is the first step and probably the hardest.  Using an opening line of caring is important because people are more receptive.  In other words, “I love our friendship, which is why this is bothering me.”  I have not always had this skill, and it does not always work and sometimes you have to walk away from a relationship.  It is painful, but sometimes it is healthy!

I also came up with a study schedule so I do not feel overwhelmed.

I have basically reorganized my life, something humans might choose to do from time to time when things change to keep a balance of work, school, home, and self.

Most importantly I have slept!

Sleep… it is magical!



October 31, 2011

So I am struggling….

Yes I am! I feel overwhelmed. I have been sitting here, in front of my computer, debating on whether or not I should blog. But I believe it might be important to my readers to see I do get overwhelmed and that sometimes I am down. It does not happen often, but it DOES happen. It is also important for me to get it out! To write or type it out.

Today, stuff just went wrong. I have made some bad choices and I am now paying the price. Consequences! They can bite you in the butt!

School, car issues, and some “stuff” are just piling up.

I will try and post everyday until… until!

As for the moment, the first rule is to go to sleep! So sleep is where I shall go.

September 11, 2010

The first time he came into my room – 1976

I sleep! I mean really sleep. Not much wakes me up. That is why after my Dad starting coming into my room at night I quit going to sleep. I slept in class, on the school bus and outside during the day. I had a secret place in the woods across the street from our house that I would sneak stuff to so I could be comfortable.

The first time he woke me up. I have no idea why, but I pretended to stay asleep. Soon he would come into my room and find me awake. I would get into to trouble and he would say “You have school tomorrow, go to sleep.” He even told my Mom I was not sleeping at night. That I was staying up all night reading. So I got in trouble from Mom too. She actually asked me why I was not sleeping. I never said a word! I just shrugged and walked back to my room. Sadly, my Mom told me if I did not sleep I would get ugly and fat. This was her attempt to encourage me to sleep. Little did she know that was perfect! I felt like if I was ugly and fat my Dad would stop coming into my room.

But you can’t stay awake forever! And I hated that I couldn’t!

And so it began, years of gaining and losing weight! In my adulthood so far I have been over 200 lbs and as small 115 lbs. And years of bipolar mania from lack of sleep. Then of course depression followed. And we cannot forget all the medication to try and keep me sane!

But you can’t stay awake forever!

Seven years ago I started to face why and who I am with the help of an awesome therapist, I have overcome those issues for the most part.  I am hoping after completing this blog I will be done (but I doubt it).  I sleep now, I have not had the need to take medication in almost that long, and my weight has been almost the exact same (I am not telling :)) for at least the last 5 yrs!

A side note:1976 was the same year my Mom started nursing school at night. Opportunity established… now how do I figure out motive?

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