Posts tagged ‘Tobacco smoking’

September 30, 2013

Cravings 101

We all crave sometimes.  We crave love, attention, sweets, Mexican food, and our vices or our addictions that we have  walked away from.  My addictions are no different.  I crave them at times.  I even, very rarely – but still, crave chaos (or the excitement that comes with it).  But I never feed that craving, EVER!  Because I know what it leads to, MORE and MORE chaos!  This is why I know that I cannot have even one cigarette!  I will want more and more and more!  Having nicotine only makes you want more nicotine!

I have been smoke free two months, three days, 22 hours, 4 minutes and 1 second.

I still crave a smoke every now and then, not nicotine, just the action of smoking.

Cravings are like hiccups, just breath!

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August 17, 2013

At 21 Fucking Days!

This happens: Brain acetylcholine receptor counts that were up-regulated in response to nicotine’s presence have now down-regulated and receptor binding has returned to levels seen in the brains of non-smokers.

So what does that mean?  Well I can tell you one thing, I want a cigarette!

Up until today, this has been so easy.  Today… not so much.

I will be doing research into the acetylcholine and bipolar connection in the days to come.

Stay tuned… I might just have a smoke tonight!

Yeah here are my stats at this moment:  Three weeks, 4 hours, 56 minutes and 9 seconds. 318 cigarettes not smoked, saving $92.72. Life saved: 1 day, 2 hours, 30 minutes.

August 7, 2013

OK ok ok…so day 5 (and really 6 and 7) sucked!

broken cigarette symbol

There is no better word… sucked!  I really wanted a smoke several times.  I totally freaked out my husband when I said, “I have to go and spend some money!”  And I meant it.  I was feeling manic!   Agitated and manic!  What truly looked to be a mixed episode!  Uggg

With the lack of nicotine in my system you would think I would be deprived of dopamine.  In other words you would think really depressed. Just down!  But in fact I had two days where I was up and agitated.  And to be quite honest I have been loud, had presured speech, been impulsive, been UP, and agitated a lot since I gave up cigarettes!

So here is the quandary… is this mental illness or is this just the normal response to nicotine withdrawals?

Are all of my fears coming true about quitting smoking?

Will I become unstable for the first time in almost 10 yrs?

Do I need to be medicated?

Even if I did would I agree to be medicated?

So I make a week… 7 whole days without a smoke!

By day 8 I am starting to feel more balanced, but………………………………………………

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